General Discussion

John 8:32

And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.

I would like to start off by saying that I am so thankful that the Lord had mercy on me and brought me out of a horrible pit that I was only getting deeper in.

I gave my life to the Lord when I was 18 in my home in Maryland. My heart and my life began to transform. I was a new creature and excited to begin this new life with Jesus! I went to church but I sought for more, to get deeper in God. I was so eager to learn about Christ and the Bible that I joined a teen ministry school where I met a good friend, who lived in Clarksville Tennessee. After graduating the ministry school, while many of the graduates made plans to go on missionary trips, get married or go for a second year I struggled with finding the Lords plan for me and my life. I just knew I wanted to be a part of a church community, learn about the Bible and do great things for the Lord. My friend who I met, invited me to live with her family, but was called back to the ministry school for a second year. So I soon had to make a decision on whether to stay in Clarksville or move back home to Maryland. All odds seemed to be against me because my mom was not a believer and living with her was hard. My friends mother said she would allow me to continue to clean houses with her. I wanted to move forward with my life and begin a new life so I sought the Lord through all of this and told Him if I found a church where I can be a part of, I would stay. The next day a couple invited me to house of prayer and I made the decision to stay in Clarksville.

House of prayer, which many of you know is not your typical "church." I have never been to a church where the men and women were separated, the women wore dresses only and the men were all dressed in suits. This is what they would call holiness. The ladies were nice to me and seemed to care about me. They were intrigued and would ask me many questions about myself, my family and where I came from. The pastor at the time, seemed indifferent to me and it took me awhile to get a liking for him. The preaching was stern, cut and dry. I consistently sought for God's will for I was so confused and unsure of this place. I confided in friends that I knew and they took time to pray for me. A few of course were worried about their legalistic rules. I decided to ignore them and continue with the possibility of this new life I desired, where stability was promised and hope of a family. A family in Christ and the security it brought along with it. Because my friends from back home and the school were all scattered throughout the US, pursuing God's plan for their life or some desire this seemed like my chance

My friend who I had moved to Tennessee with tried to warn me, along with a couple of others including my mother. They would tell me that house of prayer didn't sound like a normal church. But I thought who knows what a "normal" church is anyway.. and I continued to go. Not before long I was told my friend who I lived with had a lesbian spirit and my family and friends back home were enemies. They were hindrances of my growth in God and I needed to cut all ties with them. I was told I was very emotional and didn't know anything about the Bible. That in house of prayer I would be taught and told everything I needed to know about God and about life. I stopped calling my mom and abandoned my friends. I moved out of my friends house and into one of the members of the churchs homes shorty after. I bounced around from home to home as the members would either get married or leave to another hopcc. It went on like that for a few years.

Shortly after attending, the pastor had asked me to write my past down and my sins. ALL my past sins, the ones Jesus already forgave me for and wiped away clean, he wanted me to write them down and give it to him. He would later throw these sins in my face, and use them against me whenever he so chose. As a new member I had a lot of doubt, confusion about some of their teachings of the Bible, it was different from what I was taught in my church back home and the ministry school I went to. So I would ask questions but the pastor would lose his patience with me. He would yell, tell me that he wished he could punch me in my face. You're probably thinking why would you stay there after that? Well this pastor became like a father to me, his wife like a mother. Being from a Russian background with a mother who was also very strict at times, I was used to being treated this way. Although I would honestly say the pastor was much more harsh, I overlooked it. I honestly thought and believed I deserve to be spoke to and treated this way after all... I was born a sinner. He told me I was unthankful to God. If I looked sad or upset he would condemn me that I am not grateful for all the help he gave to help me find a place when I moved out of my friends house. I quickly began to be conformed, living for a man's approval and not God's. There were convictions that I overlooked, because the passer would tell me to do otherwise.

I had not yet understood who exactly Denis was, although he preached the first service I came to. I only that he was the pastor of all pastors in hopcc and that he is to be greatly reverend and feared.

A few years later I married my husband though our marriage was more suggestive, our courtship was very much controlled. As adults we were told when we could speak to each other, which was only one time a week and only on the phone. It would increase as time went on but only if the pastor said it was okay. We never went on a date alone without a chaperone and we only went on one. After getting married we were quickly told how it was going to be. I was to be working at the church and do whatever the pastor and his wife told me to. I willing worked because I loved God but felt like I was under a hard task master everyday. Soon after we had our first child, I remember I was so scared to tell the pastor because he did not want us to have children at the time. He was upset and told us we were wrong for doing so. It was disobedience to him. I condemned myself often, for everything. The pastor was very strict about everything we did, said, wore, and even tried to get into our very thoughts. If we tried to have an opinion of our own we were automatically proud and on our way to hell. I lived in constant fear, and instead praying, and seeking the will of God, I started to make sure that it pleased my pastor.

After a few years or so of having our first child a new reverend and his family moved to Clarksville. Help finally came I thought, my prayers were answered. We were told he was going to be the Bible College teacher. As time went on and anticipation grew, this reverend's son (who was only a teenager at the time) was allowed to take over the Clarkville church..and when I say allowed I mean because no one stopped him! After our first pastor prayed for him to receive the Holy Ghost he was told he was a prophet. He began to go around blowing (literally blowing) on us. He would tell the members to walk around the church building outside at 3 o'clock in the morning. This went on for a few days maybe a week until a phone call was made. Now at this point we haven't heard from Denis at all. Every once in a blue moon the pastor would share something that came from him but rarely. After this phone call the sons father(associate pastor) rebuked the son and began to preach. The pastors didn't speak much of this ordeal if at all. It all seemed to be swept under the rug. Shortly after, the associate pastor became the new pastor which he said God told him he was going to be the pastor before he moved to Clarksville. How convenient...

This seemed to be a good change at first, this pastor seemed to be different. But of course given some time this pastor did not operate too much differently than the first. There was a lot of quietness, secrecy, and deception. My husband and I had it started to catch him in many lies.

As time went on the teachings began to change. We started to receive phone calls from Denis periodically. Phone calls of rebuke, phone calls where everyone was to confess their most heinous sins in front of all the church body including the children. Phone calls from this man who called himself the only man of God; the last prophet. Phone calls that told us we were all going to hell and the only ones going to heaven were the ones Denis cleared. Phone calls of countless testimonies of the goodness of Denis and his so called omnipresence. He would and still calls himself charity but yet the Bible says God is love. After awhile I started to get a feeling that he has gone crazy and he is not right with God. I would pray that if it were possible that He could get me out of the church and serve Him somewhere else. But I wasnt exactly sure and wasnt sure if I was even praying the right prayer!

While going to church day after day I grew weary. I looked the part, played the part but my heart grew far away from what was real, from Jesus. There were teachings I didn't agree with and things we were told to do or not do. I pushed away the still small voice. I was fossilized. I was a bird in a cage and had put God in a box. I started to have suicidal thoughts and was very depressed. I had lost my first love. As the church pushed more towards Denis I started to push toward the one who saved me. I had just had my second child seven years later and had some time to analyze different things so I started to read the hop website where many testimonies of people who have been hurt by this place were on there. Although I did not have to read the website to know and acknowledge that things that were going on in house of prayer, we're not right. And were definitely not what a christian church should have in it.

Many things transpired after that and my heart was growing cold until I started to pray again and seek the Lord. I was told I was never saved by this new pastor and apparently Denis. But they were not there the day he found me! The day Jesus saved me and forgave me. The last phone call I heard was when Denis said he has the authority to kill all of us but he doesn't because he "loves us"...When I went home from the phone call that day I couldnt help but think about this and wonder who would give him such an authority? I started to contemplate leaving, which I did before but this time I was more sure, more confident. A friend of mine who knew nothing about the hop and one who I have known for quite some time called what it seemed like randomly and told me that it is good for leaders like teachers and pastors to have accountability, and right there I knew Denis had nothing like that. So I planned to tell my husband and to call the pastor to tell them I'm not coming back. Later on that day my oldest child tells me that Denis had called the girls devotion group and told them that he has the power to kill all of them but he won't because he loves them. That was it for me! I quickly began to gather facts and research. I was going to present a case. After speaking with the pastor he told me that I am taking what Denis said out of context. He told me he would have scriptures for me.The next day in prayer meeting. I knew of course there was no other context or scriptures where he could be justified in saying those words. I wavered in faith for a little while thinking maybe I had been wrong to leave. But with the Lords help and strength in faith I realized that thats exactly what I needed to do, to escape.

For those of you who are still in house of prayer and believe or were told that Christianity begins and ends in house of prayer, you're wrong. What you have been told is wrong. If you began a life in Christ (you were saved) before coming to house of prayer, don't let anyone tell you that youre experience never happened. And if you think that when you or someone else leaves house of prayer, that they can no longer find God that is also wrong and a huge lie.

It has been said in house of prayer that those that leave and that have left already are a reprobate. But I am telling you today that that is a huge lie. Denis and the other ministers who tell you these things only want to scare you so that you never leave. I know, because for fourteen years I stayed there believing those lies!

I know this is a journey for you and for me and it is one worth traveling. Though I am still healing, I know I am free, free in Christ. Not free to sin, using grace as an occasion. But free to live how God wants me to live, and that is fully surrendered to Him and His will for my life not what man wants.

John 8:36

If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.