You are being spiritually abused and drained, why continue to stay there? For those of you that say that God has you there for a purpose, that's a lie, God wants you OUT!!! But if you believe that in your mind, then your purpose is to tell those the truth about what you know and leave.
A Narcissist will employ cleverly hidden emotional blackmail, mental abuse and shrewd manipulative linguistic or language patterns to CONTROL people around them and force them to question their own sanity. Narcissists will also smear their target/victim’s good nature/name behind their back destroying their integrity to others (friends, family, co-workers) so they will also start questioning the sanity of the target/victim. It is like a game of “power and control” using these various methods so that the Narcissist’s is always in charge of their environment and controlling every aspect of it with lies, false appearances, coning people, etc. Narcissists have everybody around them fooled by their charm that hides their true pathological self – they even fooled their target/victim with their “love bombing” and extreme charm.
When communicating, discussing, debating, or arguing with a Narcissist, a target/victim usually finds themselves at a COMPLETE dead-end. The target/victim’s logic always becomes incompatible with that of the Narcissist, and they always get outwitted and then steered in the opposite direction from the original topic, especially if it is around questioning them (the Narcissist) or accountability as it concerns the Narcissist. Basically, communicating with them is like walking through a “House of Mirrors” at a carnival. Every thought you express is distorted in so many ways that you do not even recognize the original thought and it causes complete confusion– just like your image in the many mirrors that are created to distort your image and make you lose track of your original starting point and destination.
Their agenda ALWAYS includes manipulating/punishing the target/victim into believing that anything bad or wrong they have been questioning concerning the Narcissist was all their imagination and basically, we are confused, have issues, jealous or paranoid. They are concerned that we are showing signs or issues around our INABILITY to see reality as it concerns them being saintly, moral, good, or perfect - basically they want us to believe THEIR lies. Remember it is the Narcissist re-writing history with lies and that is what is behind that mask. So, beyond the pathological and cowardly aspect of that betrayal process, the Narcissist wants to get the most out of their manipulation skills by trying to make us believe we DO HAVE ISSUES around our own mental stability too. It is control and it’s all for the “cause” that protects their disordered and perverted lifestyle they live, and we SUPPORT.
How does a simple question concerning accountability turn into a target/victim being told they are mentally ill, obsessed, confused, lying, jealous, etc.? Because we uncovered the truth about something or other and that exposes the Narcissist as the disordered and pathological creature they are and they HAVE to protect just how disordered their life is. It seriously wounds them when they are exposed even in the SLIGHTEST manner and they will RAGE or lash out to defend themselves as well as continually manipulate us AWAY from the truth about them. It would cause them great damage both personally as well as describe them as the deviant of society they are. Again, do they know this? They must because they go through great pain (usually our pain) to cover up the truth and turn the blame back onto us as if we are the abusers to keep up that façade.
This is all done in a manner to control the target/victim and keep them in a constant state of complete REALITY QUESTIONING, “is it me or is it them”. The target/victim is always questioning reality – where there is NO reality as it concerns a Narcissist. It is all part of the Narcissist’s agenda and a well thought out plan for them to keep their target/victim controlled by confusing, diverting/deranging reality, dehumanizing, and basically psychologically manipulating the target/victim to keep them in a constant state of despair. This is us dancing with the Narcissist - and they provide the music as well as the dance steps and the choreography. Again, the most important aspect in all of this is the manner in which the Narcissist controls a target/victim starting this whole process with positive manipulation or “love bombing” to first gain our trust to destroy it and us later - after they have extorted everything they could from us - or basically use us up. No/minimal contact to completely end this connection with them. Greg
